"I have found the one my heart loves"

"For marriage, as simply as it can be defined, is the contemplation of the love of God in and through the form of another human being." (Mike Mason)

It seems that December really is magical. I have thought so all my life but this past year has only confirmed the magical nature of the Christmas season (then again, maybe it's all the hallmark movies I've watched). With the celebration of dating daniel for a year and his finishing his design program in Atlanta, I started looking forward to him being back in Jackson for good. He had other plans in mind.

We celebrated a year of dating and christmas without an engagement of which I hoped for each night. Daniel loved the "power" he had in keeping everything secret knowing I was excited for the moment. I left Jackson headed home for Christmas with my family and Danno stayed behind for Christmas with his. He was to come to Senatobia on Dec 27th to visit my family before going to Nashville.

Well... at this point things get a little hazy. (You could use the words lies or deceit or you could use the words..."tricked me" which sound much better.) I was "tricked" by my mother to get dressed up for a picture with my family on the 26th. Daniel did his best to ignore me all day so as not to spoil the surprise of his visit. I got ready as planned for the picture and my mother and I headed into town to meet my brother. At that point my mother got a phone call from the "photographer" to say that he left his camera bag in the chapel at our church on Sunday. We were to stop and get it to take to him at his studio for the picture. All the while, Daniel was on his way to Senatobia. When we got to the church, my mother told me to run to the chapel to get the camera bag while she grabbed something out another office. I headed to the chapel not thinking too much of the assignment. As approached the chapel, I could tell there was a dim light coming from the chapel. My heart started pounding wondering if this could be the moment I had dreamed of... I looked further down the hall and noticed rose petals lining the hall. I turned the corner into the chapel and there he was, standing at the end of the aisle in the chapel of my church. He had lined the aisle with rose petals, the windows with candles, and at the end of the aisle he stood next to a table filled with candles, flowers, and two hand-made frames with 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 printed inside of them. Tears filled my eyes and I knew I had not come for a camera bag... I walked to him, a little unprepared for the moment. He hugged me and began his speech. I kept interrupting the speech by hugging him. He did finish, one knee and all, and I, of course, said YES!

The rest... well, the rest is history! We're engaged and we're getting married and "I have found the one my heart loves!"

"I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord." Psalm 40:1-3

The truth to claim in my life tonight is that I do have a new song in my heart. That is truth every morning for me as a believer. However, how many days have passed that many did not see and fear and put their trust in the Lord because I failed to sing. I failed to praise my God for his faithfulness and steadfastness. Instead my eyes ever so easily deviated from His precious gaze and focused on the voices telling me I would fail again. I trusted only in my visible present and forgot that my Father was at work within me and that His plan never looks like I think nor does it look as the world convinces me it should.

Tomorrow will be another opportunity to sing the praises of my Father or focus on the potential for failure. Oh that I would have the strength to chose to sing..."may my lifesong sing to you."

the official hello

There are so many things to say or unload from my heart but it only seems right to start with a simple hello or welcome. So…here is the “welcome to my blog" post. Not sure exactly what I will share on this blog. My first and only experience sharing on a blog like this was on my Africa blog while I was over-seas. There was much to share from a world that did not resemble the one I had left so writing was easy. This however, feels a little more intimidating.

I guess I hope this will be some what therapeutic and a way to share my daily life with those far away. My goal is to be honest, to share of my struggle, fear, joy, and triumph. It’s in truth that our lives take meaning and grow and I hope that by sharing my world, however broken and messy it is, someone else may know the grace and love of my heavenly father.

Well… here we go….welcome!